117: Choosing family in a culture of “having it all”

In this episode, I share a deeply personal reflection on turning 40, living in the in-between without a home, and what it has taught me about identity, nervous system regulation, and belonging. I talk about choosing family over constant movement, how simplifying life has changed my relationship to desire and sexuality, and why prioritizing both quality and quantity time with children feels radically countercultural.

We explore the grief and surrender that come with big life transitions, the myth of “having it all,” and how motherhood reshaped my values, attachment patterns, and sense of self. This episode is an honest look at choosing a slower, more rooted life—and finding pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness inside it.

In this episode:

• Turning 40 and living in the “messy middle” without a home

• Stress, caffeine, and how they affect mood, libido, and arousal

• Roots, family, and community as nervous system support

• Motherhood as identity shift—and choosing a slower, simpler life

• Quality + quantity time with kids, and why it feels countercultural

• Letting go of “having it all” while still staying connected to desire