126: Great sex, bad sex, big fights + making marriage work

In this episode, I'm trying something new and recording from my car on the way home from school drop-off. And I want to talk about something very personal: the reality of sex and intimacy in a long-term marriage.

After moving into our new house, starting renovations, navigating school routines, parenting, and all the stress that comes with it, my husband and I have had our fair share of ups and downs.

Yes, we still have regular sex. But is it always amazing? Absolutely not. We have mismatched desires, misunderstandings, arguments, and moments when we struggle to connect. And even after ten years of teaching sexuality, I'm not immune to any of it.

I share a recent fight with my husband, how stress affects our sexual desires differently, and why I believe the quality of a relationship isn't measured by how often you have sex or whether you fight, but by how you navigate those difficult moments and repair afterwards.

In this episode:

• The reality of sex in a long-term marriage

• Why great sex isn't always great

• How stress affects our libido differently

• Navigating mismatched desires and conflict

• Why repair matters more than perfection

This episode is a reminder that even sex coaches have messy, imperfect relationships. We're all human, and intimacy isn't about getting everything right. It's about continuing to show up, communicate, and find our way back to each other.

Join the waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS:

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Related episodes:

121: We bought a house + a story about my marriage, patience, trust, and surrender →

117: Choosing family in a culture of “having it all” →